It’s Been A Long Time

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So… where have I been for the last three months? Diving into the mire of getting back to college, writing essays, spending my spare time reading French plays and watching films, training all the volunteers for Exchange. We ran a film festival recently that was pretty awesome, it was all short films from Dublin filmmakers.

Tomorrow is the official gallery opening which is really exciting. It’s also Buy Nothing Day, so we’re running Food Not Bombs in Exchange as well. A last note on Exchange – I’m so excited about it being open that I have to force myself to shut up – if anyone’s in Dublin drop into us (the corner of Essex Street and Upper Exchange Street) and have some free tea and biscuits, free internet, check out the gallery, and have an overall awesome time :]

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OTHER NEWS. Recently I saw two new films. One was Richard Linklater’s Orson Welles and Me, which stars Zac Efron who surprisingly can actually act. If I’m honest the only reason I like the film is because of Claire Danes’s beautiful 1940s costumes and red red lipstick, and also Christian McKay’s impressive film debut. He came to the preview screening that I went to and did a Q&A afterward, telling us all about his in-depth research on Mr Welles. The other film I saw which was beyond amazing was a German film called The White Ribbon, directed by Michael Haneke, who also directed Funny Games. I won’t say anything about it other than go and see it. It’s absolutely beautiful.

Other films on my To Watch list are Bright Star, Jane Campion’s film about Keats and his lady friend, and the new Coen brothers film A Serious Man. In other film news I’m trying to figure out a plausible way to get to this year’s Berlin Film Festival in February; the jury this year is being directed by Werner Herzog who is one of my favourite directors and I’m absolutely dying to go. Someone gis money! Jobs aren’t likely :[

AND AND AND AND next week I get to see this very talented chap play downstairs in the Academy:

Nomnomnom

Dear Friend.

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I’ve already said this to you, but I have a feeling you weren’t quite listening to this bit, and it’s really the most important part. I know myself and my mess very well, and I know what I can do to people, especially people I care about. Whatever happens, you’re one of those people, so in advance, I’m sorry. And thank you.

And to everyone about the last couple of days, I’m sorry as well. It’s all sorted, hopefully.

Oh Nose.

I’m very very very bad at keeping promises. Although I wouldn’t have been able to keep my promises about birthday photos, because there ARE none! The awesome weekend that I had planned fell through a wee bit – it went ahead the next week but minus the cameras :[

Here's where I've been spending my entire life recently, if you couldn't have all guessed already:

Exchange

I’ve been there pretty much every day, cleaning and sewing the black-out curtains and having the chats with the awfully talented Alex, who took that photo amongst many many others. That dress is one of my all-time favourites, I got it on Ebay in a package of two dresses made of the same fabric; the other is a gorgeous shirtwaist that I have to take in before I can wear it.

Last Friday for my week-late birthday celebrations we went to a CLUB – I know, I know, not like me at all at all, but it was SO MUCH FUN. It’s in an old Georgian building with ceiling roses and picture-rails, it’s called War and they put warpaint on your face on the way in the door. We danced to Kanye West, Nelly (it WAS hot in there – like a sauna, f’real), Britney Spears, Marvin Gaye and Michael Jackson and it was all way less posey and far more fun than I could have imagined. I’m definitely going back for the epic dance-offs, not to mention the lovely boys. Here are some photos that I’ve nicked from Facebook [dear Person I Don't Know, sorry for stealing from you!]:

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Yes, they are dancing in a window.

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There are no pictures of me from the night, for which I will be forever grateful, but I went pretty much straight from being out into a meeting in Exchange the next day, and if you want to see a very tired Emma wearing the same clothes as the night before then you’re in luck [thanks, Alex]:

The lovely lady on the left is Anna, and I believe that chap's name is Gary.

I was wearing an improvised going-out outfit of my favourite high-waisted shorts that I got for 75 cent, my ancient Topshop cardigan, and an exhausted expression.

Later today I’m going back to Exchange, then to my favourite place in all of Dublin, Tea Garden, nom nom nom.

Life Is Like A Chip Butty.

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BIG thankses to Becky, Finbarr, Amy, Katie, Chris, and briefly Cloaky for yesterday. Yis dotes. Sorry you missed your train, Finbarr! Thanks for not waking me up! Sorry for being late back to Skez, Becky! Sorry you got lost, Katie! Sorry you had to give us a lift, Chris! Sorry you’re sick, Amy! And Cloaky, sorry for not being sorry for telling you to put it away!

Cupcakes and Candles.

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It’s midnight and I’ve just switched ages. Photos to follow, probably Saturday or Sunday by the time I get around to it. Discussed a great blog idea involving a list of all the places to pee for free in Dublin (there are no public toilets). Have the same birthday as Elliott Smith. Spent all day yesterday and today in Exchange, making curtains and phone calls. Will take photos! Very excited! Very VERY busy! Must run!

Jeepers.

Peep

So I had an epiphany on Tuesday when I went to Exchange. I don’t need people who treat me with no respect, I thought to myself. I deserve better than that, I decided. It was very freeing, and for the first time in years I’ve started doing things purely for myself, because I want to. I can’t remember the last time I put myself first, and even though I feel kind of selfish I’m really enjoying it. It’s given me the freedom to say how I feel without worrying that people will get mad at me or not care about me any more – and with some people, I’ve already been hurt so much that it probably wouldn’t matter very much to me anyway. I don’t really have anything more to lose and it’s great how relaxed and creative that makes you feel. A couple of weeks ago Lauren wrote a post in a similar vein, and gave me some great advice in response to a comment I left. Really I’m writing this paragraph to pass on some advice of my own, from long personal experience of people being unreliable. Most people change aspects of their personalities when they’re trying to impress someone, and become generic and kind of boring. It’s hard to watch someone you love doing that for the sake of someone else, knowing that it isn’t going to make anyone happy. Don’t change who you are. You are already good enough and if someone can’t see that, well, it’s their loss. And if someone you love is doing it, let them go. If they’re anyone worth their salt they’ll realise they’ve made a mistake and find their true self. And if not, then do you really want someone fake in your life? This is something I’ve really struggled with and was the subject of my epiphany last week. Another thing I’ve always been bad at is dealing with being hurt. Don’t retreat into yourself, it will just deepen the feelings of pain you have, and don’t push away the people that really care about you! Be careful about who you trust, but once you know you can trust someone, talk to them about how you feel! It helps. And of course, channel your emotions into things that you enjoy doing for your own sake. Realize you’re brilliant. Be selfish. As long as you don’t hurt anyone, it’s great to put yourself first. Do something that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Personally I started a blog, went down to the Exchange and made a skirt, and those three things just exploded my creative synapses into a frenzy of activity. The most important thing is to value yourself and learn to be independent.

This is a crazy personal rant to be putting in the public domain, I suppose, but I know so many people who feel like they don’t deserve to be happy, and so many more who seem to think that they can’t be happy alone. But EVERYONE deserves to be happy, and if you’re your own favourite person, which everyone should be, then being alone can be great! So, love yourself, everyone!

Anyway, one Wednesday after my epiphany I went on a drive with Amy, her chap Chris, and the brilliant Darragh. We went to Baldongan Castle, which used to be a Knights Templar fort and church. There’s a graveyard there, and we found a grave dating from the 1290s and another couple that were so old they were just slabs of stone with nothing written on them.

Baldongan

My Amy

I'm halfway up a 1000-year-old wall, on a teeny weeny ledge... crikey.

Amy's Chris, and my me.

And for some reason WordPress won’t let me upload the rest of my photos :[

Anyhow, it’s my birthday this week and I’ve many a plan for it, I’ve gotten some presents formyself that I’ll be showing you, plus whatever my lovely friends and family give me, plus photos of the amazing time we’re all going to have.