And everything was fine. And everything was fine.

No one was fit to notice

wonderful medicinal vegetable.

A white bowl containing fire was then struck across their backs

the roof

came nearer.

Purify the dead man’s care by the Japanese.

His ships on the rocks

cannot breathe

the image thrown in the river.

We ran down a street that was beginning to burn.

Confirming his omnipotence,

no ropes or physical ties

subtracted from it.

All stood naked before us.

We admired their dexterity softened by endless prostration.

You have not found it.

The well-wrung cloth

sits on a dozen traders.

He was alive because no-one is allowed to die;

dead creatures are ostracised and shunned.

His eyes rolled.

Three thousand boys and girls cherishing an aversion for death.

Buddha should be worshipped.

We saw the mourners flying kites consumed entirely by fire;

congruity in the flowers.

I Miss The Snow

I didn’t get a chance to take photographs of it. When the snow was around Dublin was magical. Impractical, and slushy, and damp, but beautiful. Time stood still – or in my case went backwards to a much happier temperal space – and emotions were frozen in place. Life was simpler. Here is a picture to illustrate what snow looks like:

This is where I am lucky enough to go to college. Click for photographer.

In the last two weeks I’ve come back to earth with a deadening thump. Reality does not agree with me. I cope badly, and become self-destructive. The biggest problem is the lack of routine in my life. I’m resolved to go from work (here! and my is it fun) to college, to my nest (more soon) and back again. I am a Lone Wolf. I want nothing of these petty attachments to humans. They are far too shoddy when it comes to reliability. I will be an Academic and a Workaholic and have nothing to do with them. Yes.

Things I Would Like A House For

Sometimes when I’m trawling through the internet looking at lovely blogs and Etsy shops I come across pictures of things that make me itch to be Suzie Homemaker as soon as humanly possible. Don’t get me wrong – I am an instant nester and like everything to have its own place and be accounted for, but it’s difficult to do as a student in Dublin, where leases only last about nine months or a year if you’re lucky, and most people, myself included, have frequent temporary stopovers with their parents. Until I got some great news last week I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to nest anywhere for the foreseeable future, which was an unpleasant feeling to say the least, but now! I’m imaginary nesting in anticipation, and here are the things I want (most of these pictures came from various Etsy shops about six months ago, apologies for not knowing which ones):

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Now all I have to do is find somewhere to put them!

A Decade Of Pictures…

Spinnin’

Last night I was house-sitting – or more accurately helping to house-sit – in an amazing house overlooking Killiney bay. The DARTs had stopped running because there was so much wind and rain and stormy yuckiness, so I ended up having a bit of an ordeal to get there. First the man in the train station told me to get the 45 which would go through Dalkey, so I walked to the bus stop in BUCKETING rain and stood there for a while. There I made a new friend called John, who was also going to Dalkey, and we both discovered that the 45 didn’t go there. So we got a number seven bus. Which dropped us in Dun Laoghaire. Where we had to get either another bus or a DART at some vague time that no-one really knew. BUT! After an interim spent salsa-dancing in the station to keep warm, we were saved by John’s friend Sam, and Sam’s dad Tim, who gave us a lift and DROPPED ME RIGHT TO THE DOOR. Thank you John, Sam, and Tim! You are all great. And the night was made worth it by having the use of the Aga stove in the amazing kitchen – enchiladas were made for us all, AND I got to bake muffins and cookies. We ate them all between four of us. And to top it off, in the bedroom I was sleeping in – with the most amazing view behind the shutters – there was a fireplace! So I lit a cosy fire and slept soundly with the storm blowing outside. Phew! I don’t have any photographs of the house (booo) but here is one of me being all Am Appy’d out:

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When I got home I found LOADZ of old photos that’d never been put anywhere. A while ago, I went for a drive with some of my friends – Amy, her boyfriend Chris, and my friend Darragh who everybody will hear lots about some day. We drove down to the sea, on a tiny little road. You have to wait for the waves to stop washing over the tarmac before you drive down it. But! It’s worth it for the beautiful views:

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That there is my friend Darragh. PHUCK.

I found also a bunch of the missing birthday photos. This is one of them:

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Eight.

Narayan

This has been building all week, this feeling of being buried in my own consciousness, since the chips in the snow and the clang of metal as we forced that bar into place. I feel as though I’ve been unmoored, untangled from the mess of ropes [emotions, motivations, waste] holding me back, although it’s just an illusion and I’m already beginning to feel them twine round my ankle again. Breaking the spell! The spell of F Scott, and too much wine and ignoring that you are unreachable and unreaching. And a bad idea at that.

I’ve spent all evening going back over my life, the last two years, the last six months, the last three weeks. I don’t have a keepsake! No photographs, even – that is the closest there is. This is the first time. I’ll take care of Henrietta, and every time I pluck a leaf I’ll think of you, and how good you were to me and for me. I won’t repeat those six [six!]  unwashed weeks in the gloom, I will get out out out of this house. I will send letters. I will be silent, I will be verbose. 2:24:42. Perfect.

This is.